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Can women have it all? In this day and age I would like to think so. I guess a lot of it depends on how the word “all” is defined.

There’s a woman who’s a gifted writer and thinker; one of the smartest people I know. She’s working on a book and is the editor of an esteemed journal of opinion. She loves her cat and she doesn’t want any children.

Six years ago my oldest sister walked away from an amazing career as a television producer because she wanted to be the CEO of her house. She wanted to be a mom. Instead of viewing her departure from journalistic power as a step down, she saw it as the end of a storied chapter. Pregnancy meant she was moving onto the next.

I’m sure we all know many women like the two I described above. Unique stories that can’t really be pigeonholed into one category (the career ladies) versus another (the mommies). Which one’s better? Who really has it all? The working ladies, working moms, stay-at-home moms, work-from-home moms—they are what they are—individuals who have made personal decisions based on their personal preferences or economic pressures. And they are successes in their own way.

Sometimes my sister calls me and just wants some adult conversation. By early afternoon, she’s had her fill of Nickelodeon, her son’s imaginary friend and playgroups. She’d like to talk about something, anything, not related to runny noses and soggy leftover cereal from the morning’s breakfast routine. So I indulge her and we chat it up. Although, it’s amusing how the conversation eventually leads back to her children—the funny thing Maddy said at the bus stop that morning. The frog Brian brought into the house last night.

Sometimes I think she looks at me and my single-hood life with some innocent envy. “How was happy hour last night? … You get to take naps on a lazy Sunday afternoon?! … Gosh I wish I could go shopping without a three-year-old hanging on my leg.”

And sometimes, when I’m up to my neck in emails, trying to draft the concept memo, prioritize my “to-do” list, I think about her and I wish I were in her shoes—managing carpool, attending ballet lessons. Life is always greener on the other side of the fence I suppose.

But what’s uniquely common about my single, brilliant acquaintance and my “soccer mom” sister is the “D” word. Desire. They have stayed in tune with their intuition, have known what they wanted and as a result live undeniably happy lives.

And so, why can’t that be the answer to that nagging question—can women have it all?

Why do people look upon decisions like the one Karen Hughes, top advisor to President Bush, recently made and are incredulous? “How can she walk away?!” To me, it is what it is. At this stage in her life, she wants to be in Texas with her family and there’s no amount of power that’s going to dull her homesickness or sever the ties.

Karen Hughes’ desire right now is to leave the seat of power and go home. Miss X’s desire is to climb the corporate ladder and leave child rearing out of the picture. For the sake of this column, let’s assume they are both crazy with happiness, giddy in fact. Their desires have been heeded. In their own, treasured ways they are having it all.

There’s a favorite saying that becomes my mantra when I get in over my head: Blessed is the woman who knows her own limits. In the wake of Karen Hughes’ departure and for all those women who want to perfect their resumes, I’d like to offer my own version. Blessed is the woman who makes her own choices.